The Stars In Your Eyes
by AlwaysYouTobyCavanaugh
Summary: What if Toby had figured out about Spencer's addiction to Adderall all by himself? What if her best friends had not found out about her addiction from Ezra? A Spencer and Toby centric story set before Spencer's secret was revealed to Hanna, Emily and Aria. Season 4.


The Stars In Your Eyes

_Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars and its characters._

_**What if Toby had figured out about Spencer's addiction to Adderall all by himself? What if her best friends had not found out about her addiction from Ezra? A Spencer and Toby centric story set before Spencer's secret was revealed to Hanna, Emily and Aria. Season 4. **_

_**Chapter 1 **_

She walked into her bedroom hoping that all of this was just a dream. It couldn't be. She wanted to believe that it was not true. But how can you deny what is literally unfolding before your very eyes? Ezra tried to kill Alison. Ezra. Spencer felt like her head was going to explode anytime soon. Fatigue was taking over her body, shutting her brain down as every second passes by. All she needed right now is a deep sleep. A rest from all these wicked secrets she had managed to decipher after those sleepless nights she spent putting together the chunks of information they have at hand, reading Ali's diary over and over again and searching for clues in the virtual world finally paid off. Of course, with the help of the ADHD pills. _The pills. _She needs to take them right now. _Fast._

Putting her Physics notes away onto her study table, she was shocked to catch a glimpse of Toby's truck out the window, parked right in front of the barn. _Toby? What is he doing here?_ Spencer realized that there were papers still laid down on the floor of her bedroom from her last 'investigation' session and she panicked. As much as she would want Toby to know how terrified she is, she couldn't take the risk. That could put Toby in danger. She knows that A could find out soon. _He_ could find out soon. _Ezra_.

"Spencer?"

Her centred mind was pulled out of focus by a familiar voice calling out her name and her panic increased rapidly as she gathered all of her work, quickly hiding the notes and a stack of photos present there and shoved them under her bed, shutting down her laptop along the way and grabbed the small bottle containing the pills on her bedside table, putting it into one of its drawer. She cannot let anyone know what she has been up to.

"Spencer? Are you there?" the voice was getting closer. Before she could respond, Peter Hastings was already opening the door to his daughter's bedroom.

Slightly out of breath, Spencer was met eye to eye with her father. "Dad! When did you get home? I thought you were supposed to be back here the day after tomorrow?" She took in her father's appearance. He was dressed in his normal working clothes, a white Polo button up shirt and black pants, a black trench coat hanging around his left arm. A smile was plastered on his face though Spencer could see the tiredness illuminating from his light brown eyes.

"Yes my flight was supposed to be on Thursday but I was just told that a client needed me for a consultation first thing tomorrow morning."

"Who?"

"Does it matter? All I could think about right now is that I want to hug you."

Spencer smiled at her dad. Peter swiftly walked towards her daughter and embraced her in his arms.

"Well I'm glad you're home. I've missed you." She hugged him back tightly, almost as if she was never planning on letting him go. Spencer didn't notice how her voice was quavering when she mentioned that she has been missing him. Despite her anger and hatred towards her father at times of distress, she realized that she has been missing him. A lot. He was not home most of the time nowadays. They barely have the time to watch a tennis match on the television like the always do let alone play one.

Peter noticed that there was something different with Spencer but he could not figure it out. She looked _different_.

"I've missed you too sweetheart. So much." He let go of her slowly and took a careful look at his daughter. She looked pale to him. Thinner. Concern was suddenly written all over his face. "Spencer? Are you not feeling well?" He put the back of his hand on her forehead while she was blanched in cluelessness. "You do feel really warm. It seems like you have-"

"I'm fine Dad-"

Before she could answer him he cut her off. "Get dressed up I'm taking you to the hospital. Come on."

"Dad, I'm okay. It's just I've been really tired. You know how hard Senior Year can be. I think all the stress is finally taking its toll on me." She tried to convince him. If her parents find out about the dangerous path she has been taking recently, she's going to be dead. She can't even imagine how they would react to it.

He wasn't convinced. "Well are you sure? I'm worried Spence. You don't always get sick. You are shivering right now-"

She tried to reassure him once again. "Yes, Dad. I'm fine. I feel okay… I just I really need some sleep. I promise I'll be fine." She smiled tiredly. Who was she trying to convince? She knew far better that the word 'sleep' would be not be in her dictionary for at least a few more weeks. Not until she could prove to her friends who Ezra really is.

"Okay. Just call me if you need anything okay?"

She nods and put on a smile. "Okay Dad. Don't worry about me."

He smiled back at her before closing the door only to open it again a few seconds later, the act startling Spencer a little bit.

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you. Toby came while I was reading in the living room." Spencer's face suddenly changed when she realized that Toby was actually here just now. His truck. She was too caught up in the moment with her father that she forgot about him completely.

"Your mother told him that you were already asleep so he went back home. Said he'll meet you at school tomorrow morning." Spencer smiled. She misses Toby terribly. She couldn't even reckon the last time she saw him.

"Goodnight Spence." He smiled and closed the door behind him.

"Goodnight Dad."

After her father had left, Spencer walked towards the window, picturing Toby's truck in her mind right at where it was tonight. She sighed. She has yet to tell Toby about her latest discovery. But she knows that Toby is already shaken up over the latest exposure of the mystery of his mother's death. As if he have not already suffered enough. It wouldn't do him any justice to dump all of the problems she is facing at the moment his way. Toby had been nothing but loyal to her. He was always there to catch her when she falls. He was always the light that would guide her home the moment her world crumbles, when she shatters to pieces. Alarmed that she still has got a lot of 'research' to do, Spencer closed the curtains and walked back to her study table, only to be stroked by a sudden dizzy spell. She shut her eyes tightly trying to fight the burning pain in her head.

She almost lost her balance but was lucky enough to grab ahold of her bedpost. Slowly she sat herself down on the bed and held her head. It was piercing enough to make hot tears stream down her cheeks. She waited for the dizziness to go away as she struggled to breathe properly. Even her severe episodes of panic attacks do not feel as painful as to what she is feeling right now. It hurts so bad.

After she was confident that the pain had died off, she slowly makes her way to the other side of the bed and retrieved the bottle of Adderall. Her hands were shivering as she opened the lit and still shivering as she popped two pills into her mouth and downed it with a glass of water.

A few minutes later, Spencer was still feeling a little dizzy and decided to lie down on the bed, pain still etched on the features of her face.

All of a sudden she heard her phone ringing or at least she thought that it was. Still trying to regain her breath, she reached for the gadget lying just next to her. It was a message from Emily.

"_Spence? Are you okay? I thought we were supposed to meet up at the Grille tonight for Chemistry. I don't mind about that. We could do it later this Friday night. But where were you? Called your Mum and she said that you weren't home either. Please call me back so I'll know that you're okay."_

Guilt washed over her in an instant. How could she have forgotten that? She was supposed to be studying with Emily tonight. She had broken a promise again.

She checked her inbox and saw that there were a few more unread messages and a few missed calls.

One was from Aria. _"Hey Spence is everything okay? Why didn't you answer any of my calls? You know you can tell me if anything right? Is it Toby? I hope you're fine. Call me if anything okay! Promise."_

Tears were starting to cloud her vision and her body started to tremble as she cried. It was so hard to keep it a secret from her best friends. She felt really bad for Aria, Emily and Hanna. There is no doubt that she is definitely the worse friend ever. A is still playing games with them and it seems to only be getting worse. On top of that, they are still processing the fact that Ali is still alive when all this while they believed that she was dead. They have no idea though of Ali's whereabouts and that is what scared Spencer the most. Despite her complicated relationship with Alison, she was still her best friend. _Is_ still her best friend. She needs to help her. Tears keep on cascading down her beautiful face, everything just seems so unreal.

Hanna had left 10 missed calls. Also she had left a message.

"_Spencer we're all worried about you. You seemed distracted at school today. Or are you not feeling well? I'll be there in a flash if you need to talk okay. If you're too lazy to hit the 'call' button, just scream my name as loud as you can. Love, Hanna XO p/s: You know what I'll drive us to school tomorrow. See you soon kay."_

Hanna's attempt at a joke did not get to her this time as she was still enveloped in this agonising sorrow, tears rolling down her cheeks non-stop. She didn't know how vulnerable she is until tonight. She had to break down. It was all too much to take in. A would never stop torturing them. _Never_.

One was from him. Toby.

"_I know that you're asleep. But goodnight Spence, I love you. Sweet dreams my Angel."_

Her heart ached. Toby had done nothing to deserve this. She has to keep this a secret no matter what it takes. Her best friends have been concerned about her sudden change of behaviour. And each time they confronted her she would always come out with a good lie, strong enough to dissolve away their doubts.

Suddenly, her phone vibrated again, signifying that a new message was just in. Preparing for the worse as she knows who the text could be from. She took a deep breath and finally opened it.

"_Be careful Spencer. How much longer can you keep your new obsession a secret from all of them? I say not much. Tick tock. Keep your eyes open while you still can._

_-A"_

Her heart stopped. _A knows_. Of course A does. He knows _everything_.

And when A knows about a secret, it would be out in the open before she could even blink.

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**Please leave a review and let me know of what you think about the story. It would be really great if you could do that :)**


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